"Die Hard" invented a whole new genre for action films. The Die Hard on a_______. We had Die Hard on a boat: Under Siege. Die Hard on a bus: Speed. Die Hard on a plane: Passenger 57, Air Force One. Die Hard in a sports arena: Sudden Impact. I think I heard a joke about how the studios were trying to come up with a Die Hard in a hot air balloon. You get the picture.
We never had a Die Hard in a mall......until now. Let me back up that. I remember as a kid at the grocery store Albertsons looking at the front of a VHS tape that said, "Die Hard in a Department Store." Probably some "B" movie. Who wants to see Die Hard in Dillards? I'm sure that would've been much more fun than registering for a wedding though. "Hey baby, maybe Hans Gruber will get us the dishes we like."
We never got our Die Hard in a mall and when it comes out, it's a comedy starring Kevin James.
"Good things come in pairs – Volcano, Dante’s Peak, Deep Impact, Armageddon."
-Ben Stone, Knocked Up
How on earth did we get two security guard movies in the same year? What I like about it is these are two different films about the same concept. The difference is like between "Hoosiers" and "White Men Can't Jump." Same concept. Different style and execution. While Jody Hill's "Observe and Report" was edgy and Taxi Driver crazy, Paul Blart is something else because it doesn't fit a comedy mold.
Let's look at what we have for Hollywood comedy. We have Will Ferrell and his outlandish films. We have the Judd Apatow mafia making comedy raunchy again. We have whatever Woody Allen is doing at the moment, but for the most part, there isn't that much out there.
I think Kevin James is funny. I watched his show "King Of Queens." Is he groundbreaking? No. Is he controversial? No. Is he fun for all audiences including the super conservatives who comprise the ratings board for films? Yes. Kevin James is a safe bet.
How did Paul Blart make $146 million at the box office? That rivals what the real Die Hard action knock offs make?
Is the movie action packed? To answer that, I'll just say the lead villain in it is played by the guy who wanted to play tummy sticks with Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers. No.
Is the movie realistic, and I mean using the Die Hard vehicle film curve? The terrorists are on skateboards and do all kinds of back flips and are super fast yet Kevin James is able to get away on a segue? No. Any time he is near anyone, they all want to take him on in a supposed to be hilarious scene in a Foot Locker or something instead of just blasting him with their guns?
Who is this movie for and how did it make this kind of money at the box office? Family dads brought this one home. Family dads who don't get to see real action films anymore. They don't get to see anything R rated because they've got kids. There's no babysitter so anytime him and the Mrs. want to go to a movie, it's gotta be a family film appropriate for everyone. Does the dad get to see "Live Free or Die Hard"? No. Crank 2? No. He has to sit for this and he probably loves it. This beats "Madagascar 2" or "Hannah Montana". This is an untapped market. The dads who don't get to see what they want anymore. I'm sure there is a whole market for Die Hard from Disney. We've seen what this did at the box office so I have no idea studio executives are pitching ideas right now. Saw from Disney. Milk from Disney. The Girlfriend Experience from Disney.
I can't wait to see what happens with this market and in five years when Paul Blart: Mall Cop With A Vengeance with Samuel L. Jackson is released.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
An Industry of Cool: The Almost Famous Moment I Almost Had
An Industry of Cool: The Almost Famous Moment I Almost Had
I’m on the road a lot commuting to work. Two hours in the morning. Two hours in the evening. I have a ton of stuff on my video Ipod. Episodes of “The Office”, “Lost”, “The West Wing”. Lately, I’ve been listening to a podcast called the Slash Filmcast which is a couple guys talking about movies. What they’ve been watching, film news and then into an in depth review of one movie per week. With a lot of my movie friends moving off, the fellowship has broken. This has been a great way to get my movie fix. This is the best podcast that doesn’t have Ricky Gervais involved.
Since March, the Filmcast has been playing on the Ipod more than anything else. David Chen is one of the moderators of the show and every once in a while, he says what his AIM screen name is and to give him a shout if you want. I wrote it down this last week. I added him to my buddy list. Later that night, I saw he was online. I didn’t want to come off as a stalker ala Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction” or creepy like Jim Carrey’s “Cable Guy” but I wanted to say something.
“Is this Dave from the Slashfilm cast?” I asked.
“Yup” he typed back.
“I just wanted to drop you an IM to tell you I really love the podcast,” I said.
“Who’s this?” he said
“My name is Scotty. I live in Texas. I send you guys email from time to time. I have a tough commute to work every day. Two hours both ways. I put the podcast on my Ipod and listen to you guys a majority of the trip the last few months.”
“That’s awesome man. Glad we’re able to help in some small way,” he said.
I kind of geeked out on the next line and revealed my inner fanboy.
“You and Devindra (other guy on podcast) are awesome. Ok, I'm done geeking out, I just think it's cool to talk to you online for a moment,” I said.
“Definitely, no problem, feel free to hit me up anytime,” he said.
I left it at that. I didn’t want to take up his night talking about movies and come on too strong. Maybe I can IM more and talk about films with him sometime when I’ve got something to say. Hopefully the geeky kinks are worked out now.
Apparently, they have listeners all over the world and even have people who donate to help keep the site and the podcast going. I’m sure he has a ton of people talking to him. This guy is off interviewing Rian Johnson and Kevin Smith. Who the hell am I?
In a perfect world though, it would’ve been much cooler. I love movies and discussing them. I would love to do that full time. American dream right? Maybe he would’ve been impressed and put me on the show. Maybe I could write for them. I was hoping the IM conversation would go down a little more like Cameron Crowe’s masterpiece “Almost Famous” about a young teenage rock writer who is looking to break into journalism. He runs into Lester Bangs played by Philip Seymour Hoffman, the editor of Cream Magazine. This is what I had hoped went down.
Almost Famous Moment with Dave Chen
Dave: So you’re the guy who's sent me those emails.
Scotty: Yeah. Yeah. I've been doing some stuff for a local underground paper also.
Dave: What are you, the star of your school?
Scotty: They hate me.
Dave: You'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle. Your writing is damn good. It's just a shame you missed out on Hollywood. It's over.
Scotty: Over?
Dave: It's over. You got here just in time for the death rattle. Last gasp. Last grope.
Scotty: At least I'm here for that.
Dave: What do you type on?
Scotty: Microsoft Word 2003
Dave: And you like Clint Eastwood?
Scotty: The early stuff. In his new stuff, he's trying to be Oscar bait. He should just be himself.
Dave: You take drugs?
Scotty: No.
Dave: Smart kid. I used to do speed. You know, and sometimes a little cough syrup? I'd stay up all night, just writing and writing. I mean, like pages of dribble. You know, about Danny Boyle, or Darren Aronofsky.You know, just to freaking write. All right. It's been nice to meet ya. Keep sending me your stuff. I can't stand here all day iming my many fans.
Scotty: I understand.
(Then we continue to talk.)
Dave: You know, because once you go to L.A., you're gonna have friends like crazy. But they're gonna be fake friends. They're gonna try to corrupt you. You got an honest face, and they're gonna tell you everything. But you cannot make friends with the filmmakers.
Scotty: Is it okay if I-- -
Dave: If you’re gonna be a true journalist--you know, a film journalist--First, you never get paid much. But you will get free DVDS from the movie studios. Geez,nothing about you that is controversial, man. God, it's gonna get ugly, man. They're gonna buy you drinks. You're gonna meet girls, they're gonna fly you places for free, offer drugs. I know it sounds great, but these people are not your friends.These are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories...about the genius of movies. And they will ruin films, and strangle...everything we love about it, right? And then it just becomes an industry of cool. I'm telling you, you're coming along at a very dangerous time for movies. That's why I think you should turn, go back, and be a lawyer or something. But I can tell from your face that you won't. I can give you 35 bucks. Give me 1000 words on “Star Trek."
Scotty: An assignment?
Dave: Yeah. You have to make your reputation on being honest...and...you know, unmerciful.
Scotty: Honest. Unmerciful.
Dave: If you get into a jam, you can call me. I stay up late.
I’m on the road a lot commuting to work. Two hours in the morning. Two hours in the evening. I have a ton of stuff on my video Ipod. Episodes of “The Office”, “Lost”, “The West Wing”. Lately, I’ve been listening to a podcast called the Slash Filmcast which is a couple guys talking about movies. What they’ve been watching, film news and then into an in depth review of one movie per week. With a lot of my movie friends moving off, the fellowship has broken. This has been a great way to get my movie fix. This is the best podcast that doesn’t have Ricky Gervais involved.
Since March, the Filmcast has been playing on the Ipod more than anything else. David Chen is one of the moderators of the show and every once in a while, he says what his AIM screen name is and to give him a shout if you want. I wrote it down this last week. I added him to my buddy list. Later that night, I saw he was online. I didn’t want to come off as a stalker ala Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction” or creepy like Jim Carrey’s “Cable Guy” but I wanted to say something.
“Is this Dave from the Slashfilm cast?” I asked.
“Yup” he typed back.
“I just wanted to drop you an IM to tell you I really love the podcast,” I said.
“Who’s this?” he said
“My name is Scotty. I live in Texas. I send you guys email from time to time. I have a tough commute to work every day. Two hours both ways. I put the podcast on my Ipod and listen to you guys a majority of the trip the last few months.”
“That’s awesome man. Glad we’re able to help in some small way,” he said.
I kind of geeked out on the next line and revealed my inner fanboy.
“You and Devindra (other guy on podcast) are awesome. Ok, I'm done geeking out, I just think it's cool to talk to you online for a moment,” I said.
“Definitely, no problem, feel free to hit me up anytime,” he said.
I left it at that. I didn’t want to take up his night talking about movies and come on too strong. Maybe I can IM more and talk about films with him sometime when I’ve got something to say. Hopefully the geeky kinks are worked out now.
Apparently, they have listeners all over the world and even have people who donate to help keep the site and the podcast going. I’m sure he has a ton of people talking to him. This guy is off interviewing Rian Johnson and Kevin Smith. Who the hell am I?
In a perfect world though, it would’ve been much cooler. I love movies and discussing them. I would love to do that full time. American dream right? Maybe he would’ve been impressed and put me on the show. Maybe I could write for them. I was hoping the IM conversation would go down a little more like Cameron Crowe’s masterpiece “Almost Famous” about a young teenage rock writer who is looking to break into journalism. He runs into Lester Bangs played by Philip Seymour Hoffman, the editor of Cream Magazine. This is what I had hoped went down.
Almost Famous Moment with Dave Chen
Dave: So you’re the guy who's sent me those emails.
Scotty: Yeah. Yeah. I've been doing some stuff for a local underground paper also.
Dave: What are you, the star of your school?
Scotty: They hate me.
Dave: You'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle. Your writing is damn good. It's just a shame you missed out on Hollywood. It's over.
Scotty: Over?
Dave: It's over. You got here just in time for the death rattle. Last gasp. Last grope.
Scotty: At least I'm here for that.
Dave: What do you type on?
Scotty: Microsoft Word 2003
Dave: And you like Clint Eastwood?
Scotty: The early stuff. In his new stuff, he's trying to be Oscar bait. He should just be himself.
Dave: You take drugs?
Scotty: No.
Dave: Smart kid. I used to do speed. You know, and sometimes a little cough syrup? I'd stay up all night, just writing and writing. I mean, like pages of dribble. You know, about Danny Boyle, or Darren Aronofsky.You know, just to freaking write. All right. It's been nice to meet ya. Keep sending me your stuff. I can't stand here all day iming my many fans.
Scotty: I understand.
(Then we continue to talk.)
Dave: You know, because once you go to L.A., you're gonna have friends like crazy. But they're gonna be fake friends. They're gonna try to corrupt you. You got an honest face, and they're gonna tell you everything. But you cannot make friends with the filmmakers.
Scotty: Is it okay if I-- -
Dave: If you’re gonna be a true journalist--you know, a film journalist--First, you never get paid much. But you will get free DVDS from the movie studios. Geez,nothing about you that is controversial, man. God, it's gonna get ugly, man. They're gonna buy you drinks. You're gonna meet girls, they're gonna fly you places for free, offer drugs. I know it sounds great, but these people are not your friends.These are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories...about the genius of movies. And they will ruin films, and strangle...everything we love about it, right? And then it just becomes an industry of cool. I'm telling you, you're coming along at a very dangerous time for movies. That's why I think you should turn, go back, and be a lawyer or something. But I can tell from your face that you won't. I can give you 35 bucks. Give me 1000 words on “Star Trek."
Scotty: An assignment?
Dave: Yeah. You have to make your reputation on being honest...and...you know, unmerciful.
Scotty: Honest. Unmerciful.
Dave: If you get into a jam, you can call me. I stay up late.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
James Cameron: The Girlfriend That's Never Coming Back
It seems like Terminator Salvation was set to fail from the start because it's not James Cameron. He's not coming back. Yes, he gave us this brilliant story, two films that action and sci-fi have imitated, mocked and for the most part, failed to live up to. He hasn't done a full out action film since "True Lies", hasn't directed a film in twelve years. Cameron was once a young filmmaker who just needed a chance. I'm not saying McG is awesome, but if someone wants to step up to the plate, by all means, have at it.
This isn't S. Darko or some straight to DVD hell hole. This is Terminator with Christian Bale, studio backing and a summer release.
The music isn't that classic score from the first two films which concerned me at the beginning. A little background is written on the screen for the rookies, one sentence talking of John Connor as a possible prophet? I was hoping we weren't heading into Matrix Revolutions territory.
You can tell it's not Cameron's apocalypse. We've seen so many apocalypses over the last twenty years. It's very hard to show us anything new, especially when we already have a view from the first two films.
What I loved about this film was we didn't see every plot point spliced into the trailer. It's almost misleading because this isn't John Connor's story as much as it's Marcus Wright's. Sam Worthington is going to be a huge star. He is what engages you into the film. I thought Bale was just pissed and kind of one note but maybe that's what they needed him to do to show the cyborg's humanity.
The small flashes from the mythology, from Arnold, melting a terminator, freezing a terminator, all the way to the classic "You Could Be Mine" were present in the film.
I'm glad McG took the film into this new frontier because there are all kinds of things they could do. This is what they should've done with the third film.
What do you guys think? Are we ever going to get over James Cameron and date someone else?
This isn't S. Darko or some straight to DVD hell hole. This is Terminator with Christian Bale, studio backing and a summer release.
The music isn't that classic score from the first two films which concerned me at the beginning. A little background is written on the screen for the rookies, one sentence talking of John Connor as a possible prophet? I was hoping we weren't heading into Matrix Revolutions territory.
You can tell it's not Cameron's apocalypse. We've seen so many apocalypses over the last twenty years. It's very hard to show us anything new, especially when we already have a view from the first two films.
What I loved about this film was we didn't see every plot point spliced into the trailer. It's almost misleading because this isn't John Connor's story as much as it's Marcus Wright's. Sam Worthington is going to be a huge star. He is what engages you into the film. I thought Bale was just pissed and kind of one note but maybe that's what they needed him to do to show the cyborg's humanity.
The small flashes from the mythology, from Arnold, melting a terminator, freezing a terminator, all the way to the classic "You Could Be Mine" were present in the film.
I'm glad McG took the film into this new frontier because there are all kinds of things they could do. This is what they should've done with the third film.
What do you guys think? Are we ever going to get over James Cameron and date someone else?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
